Thursday, March 29, 2007

Well, I never knew that !!!!

In the 1400's a law was set forth that a man was not allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb".

Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV was Fred and Wilma Flintstone

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

Coca-Cola was originally green.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king in history:-
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.
If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.

If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand

Q. What do bullet-proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.

Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "Goodnight, sleep tight."

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink.

Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them, "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down." It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service.

"Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.

Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it..........

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey
lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amazing huh?

~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Famous quotes on Sex

My girlfriend always laughs during sex --no matter what she's reading.
Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)

Don't knock masturbation — it's sex with someone I love.
Woody Allen

Lord, grant me chastity and continence... but not yet.
St. Augustine

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
Tom Clancy

You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither.
Steve Martin

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Woody Allen

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Rodney Dangerfield

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL.
Lynn Lavner

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
George Burns

Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.
George Burns

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships
Sharon Stone

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
Jack Nicholson

Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
Robin Williams

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.
Roseanne

Women need a reason to have sex Men just need a place.
Billy Crystal

According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.
Robert De Niro

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?
Dustin Hoffman

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked.
Jerry Seinfeld

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
Woody Allen

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
Robin Williams

My family never raised me to have a vagina.
Roseanne

An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
Aldous Huxley

Did you ever notice the people who are most adamantly against abortions are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place?
George Carlin

Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.
Mark Twain

One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.
Jane Austen

Sex concentrates on what is on the outside of the individual. It's funny because I think it's better inside.
Alex Walsh

When a man goes on a date, he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows.
Frederike Ryder

Monday, March 26, 2007

Tagged by Zoe,Saf & R

What are The 5 things ppl dont knw about me?
hmm... really hard to say, There are alot of things ppl dont no about me.
Well i Asked a friend (mohsina) to help me discribe my self to u guys.
so r,zoe & saf, here are somtings you guys didnt know.

here u go...
im
amorous,loquacious,eccentric,frivolous,free-spirit,spontaneous
adventurous,intellectual,influential,Mystifying,Elusive,Contemporary,abstract,
conceited(mo Thinks so, but im not)
oh and then she added
"a chicken , dont like quad bikes" so not true
"loves good food and fine wine that ages like woman" lol
"party animal" maby at times.. but i knw my limits
"emulates qualities of a leader , def not a follower"


yea so finally iv keptd my promise to you all..
well nw lets c wat zoe,r,saf and all other friends think.

Friday, March 09, 2007

To My Friends

To My Friends Who Are...........
Love is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you.
But if you just let it fly, it will come to you when you least expect it.
Love can make you happy but often it hurts, but love's only special when
you give it to someone who is really worth it. So take your time and
choose the best.

To My Friends Who Are............NOT SO SINGLE
Love isn't about becoming somebody else's 'perfect person.' It's about
finding someone who helps you become the best person you can be.

To My Friends Who Are............PLAYBOY/GIRL TYPE
Never say 'I love you' if you don't care. Never talk about feelings if
they aren't there. Never touch a life if you mean to break a heart. Never
look in the eye when all you do is lie. The cruelest thing a guy can do to
a girl is to let her fall in love when he doesn't intend to catch her fall
and it works both ways...

To My Friends Who Are............MARRIED
Love is not about 'it's your fault', but 'I'm sorry.' Not 'where are you',
but 'I'm right here.' Not 'how could you', but 'I understand.' Not 'I wish
you were', but 'I'm thankful you are.'

To My Friends Who Are............ENGAGED
The true measure of compatibility is not the years spent together but how
good you are for each other.

To My Friends Who Are............HEARTBROKEN
Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut as deep as you allow them to
go. The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from
them.

To My Friends Who Are............NAIVE
How to be in love: Fall but don't stumble, be consistent but not too
persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand,
and get hurt but never keep the pain.

To My Friends Who Are............POSSESSIVE
It breaks your heart to see the one you love happy with someone else but
it's more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you.

To My Friends Who Are............AFRAID TO CONFESS
Love hurts when you break up with someone. It hurts even more when someone
breaks up with you. But love hurts the most when the person you love has
no idea how you feel.

To My Friends Who Are............STILL HOLDING ON
A sad thing about life is when you meet someone and fall in love, only to
find out in the end that it was never meant to be and that you have wasted
years on someone who wasn't worth it. If he isn't worth it now he's not
going to be worth it a year or 10 years from now Let go.....

TO ALL MY FRIENDS.......

My wish for you is a man/women whose love is honest, strong, mature,
never-changing, uplifting, protective, encouraging, rewarding and unselfish.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Indian Technology

After digging to a depth of 100 metres last year, Russian
scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years, and came
to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network
one thousand years ago.

So, not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, American
scientists dug 200 metres and headlines in the US papers read: "US
scientists have found traces of 2000 year old
>optical fibres, and have concluded that their ancestors already
had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000 years earlier than the
Russians."

One week later, the Indian newspapers reported the following:
"After digging as deep as 500 metres, Indian scientists have found
absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their
ancestors were already using wireless technology."

Thursday, March 01, 2007

JoZi LULLaBy

Hush my laaitie don't you cry
Daddy's gonna steal you a GTi,
And if that GTi don't Torque
Another GTi, I will stalk.
And if the stalking don't go to well
Daddy's gonna steal you a Caravelle
And if that Caravelle makes some tricks
Daddy's gonna jack you a VR6.
And if that VR6 won't fly
Daddy's gonna knock a BM from a Sandton guy.
And if that BM's sound is kwaai
Da Lenz cherries will go with you to elke braai!
And if the cops ask why ?
Daddy will buy the docket from a Police spy!
And if all these things still make you cry

Then you're not my laaitie
..... your mom told me a lie !!