tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-314062482024-03-07T11:25:18.159+02:00WAP(WORK AND PLAY)arshadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15779542664678954436noreply@blogger.comBlogger92125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31406248.post-70336347713930372902012-08-08T16:02:00.004+02:002012-08-08T16:02:36.049+02:00The Ultimate Rejection Letter<h1>
<br /></h1>
<hr />
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<pre>Herbert A. Millington
Chair - Search Committee
412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University
College Hill, MA 34109
Dear Professor Millington,
Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I
regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me
an assistant professor position in your department.
This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually
large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field
of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.
Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in
rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at
this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor
in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then.
Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.
Sincerely,
Chris L. Jensen
</pre>arshadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15779542664678954436noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31406248.post-32736993229085829512012-08-06T14:44:00.001+02:002012-08-06T14:44:55.572+02:00The Most Useful Websites and Web Apps<h2>
</h2>
The sites mentioned
here, well most of them, solve at least one problem really well and they
all have simple web addresses (URLs) that you can easily learn by heart
thus saving you a trip to Google.<br />
01. <a href="http://www.screenr.com/" target="_blank">screenr.com</a> – record movies of your desktop and send them straight to YouTube.<br /> 02. <a href="http://ctrlq.org/screenshots/" target="_blank">ctrlq.org/screenshots</a> – for capturing <a href="http://www.labnol.org/internet/screen-capture-on-mobile/21436/" target="_blank">screenshots of web pages</a> on mobile and desktops.<br /> 03. <a href="http://goo.gl/" target="_blank">goo.gl</a> – shorten long URLs and convert URLs into <a href="http://www.labnol.org/internet/tools/qr-codes-share-text-inside-images/3867/" target="_blank">QR codes</a>.<br /> 04. <a href="http://unfurlr.com/" target="_blank">unfurlr.come</a> – find the original URL that’s hiding behind a short URL.<br /> 05. <a href="http://www.qlock.com/" target="_blank">qClock</a> – find the local time of a city using a <a href="http://labnol.blogspot.com/2007/01/world-time-clocks-visual-guide-to-time.html" target="_blank">Google Map</a>.<br /> 06. <a href="http://copypastecharacter.com/" target="_blank">copypastecharacter.com</a> – copy special characters that aren’t on your keyboard.<br /> 07. <a href="http://postpost.com/" target="_blank">postpost.com</a> – a better search engine for twitter.<br /> 08. <a href="http://my.lovelycharts.com/" target="_blank">lovelycharts.com</a> – create flowcharts, network diagrams, sitemaps, etc.<br /> 09. <a href="http://www.iconfinder.com/" target="_blank">iconfinder.com</a> – the best place to find icons of all sizes.<br /> 10. <a href="http://www.office.com/" target="_blank">office.com</a> – download templates, clipart and images for your Office documents.<br /> 11. <a href="http://www.followupthen.com/" target="_blank">followupthen.com</a> – the easiest way to setup <a href="http://www.labnol.org/internet/setup-email-reminders/17910/" target="_blank">email reminders</a>.<br /> 12. <a href="http://virusscan.jotti.org/en" target="_blank">jotti.org</a> – scan any suspicious file or email attachment for viruses.<br /> 13. <a href="http://wolframalpha.com/" target="_blank">wolframalpha.com</a> – gets answers directly without searching – see more <a href="http://www.labnol.org/internet/wolfram-alpha-tricks/17752/" target="_blank">wolfram tips</a>.<br /> 14. <a href="http://www.printwhatyoulike.com/" target="_blank">printwhatyoulike.com</a> – print web pages without the clutter.<br /> 15. <a href="http://joliprint.com/" target="_blank">joliprint.com</a> – reformats news articles and blog content as a newspaper.<br /> 16. <a href="http://ctrlq.org/rss" target="_blank">ctrql.org/rss</a> – a search engine for RSS feeds.<br /> 17. <a href="http://e.ggtimer.com/" target="_blank">e.ggtimer.com</a> – a simple online timer for your daily needs.<br /> 18. <a href="http://www.coralcdn.org/" target="_blank">coralcdn.org</a> – if a site is down due to heavy traffic, try accessing it through coral CDN.<br /> 19. <a href="http://www.random.org/" target="_blank">random.org</a> – pick random numbers, flip coins, and more.<br /> 20. <a href="http://www.pdfescape.com/pdf/open/preload.asp" target="_blank">pdfescape.com</a> – lets you can quickly <a href="http://www.labnol.org/software/edit-pdf-files/10870/" target="_blank">edit PDFs</a> in the browser itself.<br /> 21. <a href="http://viewer.zoho.com/" target="_blank">viewer.zoho.com</a> – Preview PDFs and Presentations directly in the browser.<br /> 22. <a href="http://www.tubemogul.com/about/oneload" target="_blank">tubemogul.com</a> – simultaneously upload videos to YouTube and <a href="http://www.labnol.org/internet/video/easily-upload-video-to-multiple-video-sharing-websites/1946/" target="_blank">other video sites</a>.<br /> 23. <a href="http://dabbleboard.com/draw" target="_blank">dabbleboard.com</a> – your virtual whiteboard.<br /> 24. <a href="http://scr.im/" target="_blank">scr.im</a> – share you email address online without worrying about spam.<br /> 25. <a href="http://spypig.com/" target="_blank">spypig.com</a> – now get <a href="http://www.labnol.org/internet/email/check-yahoo-gmail-email-read-receipts/2150/" target="_blank">read receipts</a> for your email.<br /> 26. <a href="http://www.sizeasy.com/" target="_blank">sizeasy.com</a> – visualize and compare the size of any product.<br /> 27. <a href="http://new.myfonts.com/WhatTheFont/" target="_blank">myfonts.com/WhatTheFont</a> – quickly determine the font name from an image.<br /> 28. <a href="http://www.google.com/webfonts" target="_blank">google.com/webfonts</a> – a good collection of <a href="http://www.labnol.org/software/google-fonts-on-computer/19780/" target="_blank">open source fonts</a>.<br /> 29. <a href="http://regex.info/exif.cgi" target="_blank">regex.info</a> – find data hidden in your photographs – see more <a href="http://www.labnol.org/software/exif-data-editors/14210/" target="_blank">EXIF tools</a>.<br /> 30. <a href="http://www.livestream.com/" target="_blank">livestream.com</a> – broadcast events live over the web, including your desktop screen.<br /> 31. <a href="http://iwantmyname.com/" target="_blank">iwantmyname.com</a> – helps you <a href="http://www.labnol.org/internet/domain-name-research-tools/17881/" target="_blank">search domains</a> across all TLDs.<br /> 32. <a href="http://www.homestyler.com/" target="_blank">homestyler.com</a> – design from scratch or re-model your <a href="http://www.labnol.org/internet/3d-home-design-software/8788/" target="_blank">home in 3d</a>.<br /> 33. <a href="https://join.me/" target="_blank">join.me</a> – share you screen with anyone over the web.<br /> 34. <a href="http://www.onlineocr.net/" target="_blank">onlineocr.net</a> – recognize text from scanned PDFs – see other <a href="http://www.labnol.org/software/convert-images-to-text-with-ocr/17418/" target="_blank">OCR tools</a>.<br /> 35. <a href="http://www.flightstats.com/" target="_blank">flightstats.com</a> – Track flight status at airports worldwide.<br /> 36. <a href="https://www.wetransfer.com/" target="_blank">wetransfer.com</a> – for sharing really <a href="http://www.labnol.org/internet/share-large-files-without-email/13937/" target="_blank">big files</a> online.<br /> 37. <a href="http://hundredzeros.com/" target="_blank">hundredzeros.com</a> – best-sellers that are currently free. More ways to <a href="http://www.labnol.org/software/download-free-books-for-kindle/10990/">download free Kindle books</a>.<br /> 38. <a href="http://www.polishmywriting.com/" target="_blank">polishmywriting.com</a> – check your writing for spelling or grammatical errors.<br /> 39. <a href="http://marker.to/" target="_blank">marker.to</a> – easily highlight the important parts of a web page for sharing.<br /> 40. <a href="http://typewith.me/" target="_blank">typewith.me</a> – work on the same document with multiple people.<br /> 41. <a href="http://whichdateworks.com/" target="_blank">whichdateworks.com</a> – planning an event? <a href="http://www.labnol.org/internet/schedule-meetings-online/12172/" target="_blank">find a date</a> that works for all.<br /> 42. <a href="http://everytimezone.com/" target="_blank">everytimezone.com</a> – a less confusing view of the <a href="http://www.labnol.org/internet/world-time-zones/14346/" target="_blank">world time zones</a>.<br /> 43. <a href="http://gtmetrix.com/" target="_blank">gtmetrix.com</a> – the perfect tool for measuring your <a href="http://www.labnol.org/internet/test-website-performance-online/17736/" target="_blank">site performance</a> online.<br /> 44. <a href="http://www.noteflight.com/" target="_blank">noteflight.com</a> – print music sheets, write your own music online (<a href="http://www.labnol.org/internet/compose-music-notations-online/9457/" target="_blank">review</a>).<br /> 45. <a href="https://imo.im/" target="_blank">imo.im</a> – chat with your buddies on Skype, Facebook, Google Talk, etc. from one place.<br /> 46. <a href="http://translate.google.com/#" target="_blank">translate.google.com</a> – translate web pages, PDFs and Office documents.<br /> 47. <a href="http://kleki.com/" target="_blank">kleki.com</a> – create paintings and sketches with a wide variety of brushes.<br /> 48. <a href="http://www.similarsites.com/" target="_blank">similarsites.com</a> – discover new sites that are similar to what you like already.<br /> 49. <a href="http://www.wordle.net/" target="_blank">wordle.net</a> – quick summarize long pieces of text with tag clouds.<br /> 50. <a href="http://www.bubbl.us/" target="_blank">bubbl.us</a> – create mind-maps, brainstorm ideas in the browser.<br /> 51. <a href="http://kuler.adobe.com/" target="_blank">kuler.adobe.com</a> – get color ideas, also <a href="http://www.labnol.org/home/decoration/choose-living-room-color-scheme-popular-paint-combination-ideas/2782/" target="_blank">extract colors</a> from photographs.<br />
52. <a href="http://www.liveshare.com/" target="_blank">liveshare.com</a> – share your photos in an album instantly.<br /> 53. <a href="http://lmgtfy.com/" target="_blank">lmgtfy.com</a> – when your friends are too lazy to use Google on their own.<br /> 54. <a href="http://www.midomi.com/" target="_blank">midomi.com</a> – when you need to <a href="http://www.labnol.org/internet/find-name-of-songs/12316/" target="_blank">find the name of a song</a>.<br /> 55. <a href="http://www.bing.com/images" target="_blank">bing.com/images</a> – automatically find perfectly-sized <a href="http://www.labnol.org/internet/find-wallpapers-for-mobile-phones/13650/" target="_blank">wallpapers for mobiles</a>.<br /> 56. <a href="http://faxzero.com/" target="_blank">faxzero.com</a> – send an online fax for free – see more <a href="http://www.labnol.org/internet/send-fax-from-computer/17676/" target="_blank">fax services</a>.<br /> 57. <a href="http://www.feedmyinbox.com/" target="_blank">feedmyinbox.com</a> – get RSS feeds as an email newsletter.<br /> 58. <a href="http://ge.tt/" target="_blank">ge.tt</a> – quickly send a file to someone, they can even preview it before downloading.<br /> 59. <a href="http://pipebytes.com/" target="_blank">pipebytes.com</a> – transfer files of any size without uploading to a third-party server.<br /> 60. <a href="http://tinychat.com/" target="_blank">tinychat.com</a> – setup a private chat room in micro-seconds.<br /> 61. <a href="http://www.privnote.com/" target="_blank">privnote.com</a> – create text notes that will self-destruct after being read.<br /> 62. <a href="http://boxoh.com/" target="_blank">boxoh.com</a> – track the status of any shipment on Google Maps – <a href="http://labnol.blogspot.com/2007/03/track-shipments-from-ups-dhl-or-fedex.html" target="_blank">alternative</a>.<br /> 63. <a href="http://www.chipin.com/" target="_blank">chipin.com</a> – when you need to raise funds online for an event or a cause.<br /> 64. <a href="http://downforeveryoneorjustme.com/" target="_blank">downforeveryoneorjustme.com</a> – find if your favorite website is offline or not?<br /> 65. <a href="http://www.ewhois.com/" target="_blank">ewhois.com</a> – find the <a href="http://www.labnol.org/internet/find-websites-of-someone/20550/" target="_blank">other websites</a> of a person with reverse Analytics lookup.<br /> 66. <a href="http://www.whoishostingthis.com/" target="_blank">whoishostingthis.com</a> – find the web host of any website.<br /> 67. <a href="https://www.google.com/history/" target="_blank">google.com/history</a> – found something on Google but can’t remember it now?<br /> 68. <a href="http://www.aviary.com/tools/myna" target="_blank">aviary.com/myna</a> – an online audio editor that lets record, and remix audio clips online.<br /> 69. <a href="http://disposablewebpage.com/" target="_blank">disposablewebpage.com</a> – create a <a href="http://labnol.blogspot.com/2007/10/create-temporary-webpage-that-self.html" target="_blank">temporary web page</a> that self-destruct.<br /> 70. <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/" target="_blank">urbandictionary.com</a> – find definitions of slangs and informal words.<br /> 71. <a href="http://www.seatguru.com/" target="_blank">seatguru.com</a> – consult this site before choosing a seat for your next flight.<br /> 72. <a href="http://www.sxc.hu/index.html" target="_blank">sxc.hu</a> – download stock images absolutely free.<br /> 73. <a href="http://zoom.it/" target="_blank">zoom.it</a> – view very high-resolution images in your browser without scrolling.<br /> 74. <a href="http://scribblemaps.com/" target="_blank">scribblemaps.com</a> – create custom Google Maps easily.<br /> 75. <a href="http://www.alertful.com/" target="_blank">alertful.com</a> – quickly setup email reminders for important events.<br /> 76. <a href="http://www.picmonkey.com/" target="_blank">picmonkey.com</a> – Picnik is offline but PicMonkey is an even better image editor.<br /> 77. <a href="http://formspring.me/" target="_blank">formspring.me</a> – you can ask or answer personal questions here.<br /> 78. <a href="http://sumopaint.com/app/" target="_blank">sumopaint.com</a> – an excellent layer-based online image editor.<br /> 79. <a href="http://snopes.com/" target="_blank">snopes.com</a> – find if that email offer you received is real or just another scam.<br /> 80. <a href="http://www.typingweb.com/tutor/" target="_blank">typingweb.com</a> – master touch-typing with these practice sessions.<br /> 81. <a href="http://mailvu.com/" target="_blank">mailvu.com</a> – send video emails to anyone using your web cam.<br /> 82. <a href="http://timerime.com/" target="_blank">timerime.com</a> – create timelines with audio, video and images.<br /> 83. <a href="http://studio.stupeflix.com/" target="_blank">stupeflix.com</a> – make a movie out of your images, audio and video clips.<br /> 84. <a href="http://safeweb.norton.com/" target="_blank">safeweb.norton.com</a> – check the trust level of any website.<br /> 85. <a href="http://teuxdeux.com/" target="_blank">teuxdeux.com</a> – a beautiful to-do app that looks like your <a href="http://www.labnol.org/internet/organize-todo-lists-online/11619/" target="_blank">paper dairy</a>.<br /> 86. <a href="http://deadurl.com/" target="_blank">deadurl.com</a> – you’ll need this when your bookmarked <a href="http://www.labnol.org/internet/recover-deleted-webpages-from-internet/6529/" target="_blank">web pages are deleted</a>.<br /> 87. <a href="https://www.minutes.io/" target="_blank">minutes.io</a> – quickly capture effective notes during meetings.<br /> 88. <a href="http://youtube.com/leanback" target="_blank">youtube.com/leanback</a> – Watch YouTube channels in TV mode.<br /> 89. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/disco" target="_blank">youtube.com/disco</a> – quickly create a video playlist of your favorite artist.<br /> 90. <a href="http://www.talltweets.com/" target="_blank">talltweets.com</a> – Send tweets longer than 140 characters.<br /> 91. <a href="http://pancake.io/" target="_blank">pancake.io</a> – create a free and simple website using your Dropbox account.<br /> 92. <a href="http://builtwith.com/" target="_blank">builtwith.com</a> – find the technology stack of any website.<br /> 93. <a href="http://www.woorank.com/" target="_blank">woorank.com</a> – research a website from the SEO perspective.<br /> 94. <a href="http://mixlr.com/" target="_blank">mixlr.com</a> – broadcast live audio over the web.<br /> 95. <a href="http://radbox.me/" target="_blank">radbox.me</a> – bookmark online videos and watch them later (<a href="http://www.labnol.org/internet/bookmark-web-videos/18744/" target="_blank">review</a>).<br /> 96. <a href="http://tagmydoc.com/" target="_blank">tagmydoc.com</a> – add QR codes to your documents and presentations (<a href="http://www.labnol.org/internet/share-documents-with-qr-code/20456/" target="_blank">review</a>).<br /> 97. <a href="http://notes.io/" target="_blank">notes.io</a> – the easiest way to write short text notes in the browser.<br /> 98. <a href="http://ctrlq.org/html-mail/" target="_blank">ctrlq.org/html-mail</a> – send rich-text mails to anyone, anonymously.<br /> 99. <a href="http://fiverr.com/" target="_blank">fiverr.com</a> – hire people to do little things for $5.<br /> 100. <a href="http://otixo.com/" target="_blank">otixo.com</a> – easily <a href="http://www.labnol.org/internet/transfer-cloud-files/20227/" target="_blank">manage your online files</a> on Dropbox, Google Docs, etc.<br /> 101. <a href="http://ifttt.com/wtf" target="_blank">ifttt.com</a> – create a connection between all your online accounts.arshadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15779542664678954436noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31406248.post-17396108318149635382009-07-17T11:26:00.000+02:002009-07-17T11:26:52.319+02:00Economics Explained<div><b></b> <p style="margin-bottom: 2pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; color: rgb(204, 204, 204);">It is June, 2009 in a little town in Northern California.</p><p style="margin-bottom: 2pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; color: rgb(204, 204, 204);">It is raining, and the tiny town looks totally deserted.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 2pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; color: rgb(204, 204, 204);">It is tough times, everybody is in debt and everybody lives on credit.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 2pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; color: rgb(204, 204, 204);">Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 2pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; color: rgb(204, 204, 204);">He enters the only hotel, lays a $100.00 bill on the reception counter and goes to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 2pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; color: rgb(204, 204, 204);">The hotel proprietor takes the $100.00 bill and runs to pay his debt to the butcher.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 2pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; color: rgb(204, 204, 204);">The Butcher takes the $100.00 bill, and runs to pay his debt to the pig grower.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 2pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; color: rgb(204, 204, 204);">The pig grower takes the $100.00 bill, and runs to pay his debt to the supplier of his feed.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 2pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; color: rgb(204, 204, 204);">The supplier of feed store takes the $100.00 bill and runs to pay his debt to the town's prostitute. (Who, in these hard times, gave her "services" on credit).</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 2pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; color: rgb(204, 204, 204);">The hooker runs to the hotel, and pays off her debt with the $100.00 bill to the hotel proprietor for the rooms that she rented when she brought her clients there.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 2pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; color: rgb(204, 204, 204);">The hotel proprietor then lays the $100.00 bill back on the counter so that the rich tourist will not suspect anything.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 2pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; color: rgb(204, 204, 204);">The rich tourist comes down after inspecting the rooms, and takes his $100.00 bill, saying that he did not like any of the rooms, and leaves town.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 2pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; color: rgb(204, 204, 204);">No one earned anything.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 2pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; color: rgb(204, 204, 204);">However, the whole town is now without debt, and looks to the future with great optimism.</p></div>arshadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15779542664678954436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31406248.post-51006250903359473472008-08-11T14:20:00.003+02:002008-08-11T14:23:40.098+02:00Julius Caesar<span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);">Life Is 10% What You Make It And 90% How You Take It.- Julius Caesar</span>arshadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15779542664678954436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31406248.post-15976971661522272082008-07-25T15:18:00.000+02:002008-07-25T15:19:31.935+02:00Discover the 90/10 Principle.<span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations).</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">How? ……….By your reaction.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">You cannot control a red light. but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">Let's use an example.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">What happens next will be determined by how you react.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">You curse.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">Why? …. Because of how you reacted in the morning.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">Why did you have a bad day?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">A) Did the coffee cause it?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">B) Did your daughter cause it?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">C) Did the policeman cause it?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">D) Did you cause it?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">The answer is “D".</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">Here is what could have and should have happened.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "Its ok honey, you just need to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">Notice the difference?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">Why?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">Because of how you REACTED.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle. If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you!</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off) Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">You are told you lost your job.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take outpour frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">The result?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">It CAN change your life!!!</span></span>arshadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15779542664678954436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31406248.post-30309277999603982102008-06-19T11:38:00.001+02:002008-06-19T11:42:06.202+02:00NEW JOB TITLES IN THE NEW SOUTH AFRICA in preparation for 2010!!!<span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">Murderer : Population Stabilizer</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">Orphan : Independent Youngster</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">Beggar : Financial Gatherer</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">Cleaner : Hygiene Specialist</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">Rapist : Senior Practitioner in Sexual Practices</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">Gardener : Landscape Executive and Animal Nutritionist</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">House Maid : Family Environs Upkeep Manager</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">Receptionist :Front Office Manager/Office Access Control Specialist</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">Messenger : Business Communications Conveyer</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">Window Cleaner : Transparent Wall Technician</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">Temporary Teacher :Associate Tutor</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">Tealady : Refreshment Overseer</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">Garbage Collector : Public Sanitation Technician</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">Watchman/security : Theft Prevention and Surveillance Officer or</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">Wealth Distribution Prevention Officer</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">Prostitute : Practical Sexual Relations Officer</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">Thief : Wealth Distribution Officer</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">Driver : Automobile Propulsion Specialist</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">Maid : Domestic Operations Specialist</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">Employee without Portfolio : Administration Manager</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">Cook : Food Preparation Officer</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">Do Not Forget:</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">Unemployed :Township Management</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">Gossiping :Research Management</span>arshadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15779542664678954436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31406248.post-79409562934896182482008-06-10T17:40:00.002+02:002008-12-09T04:01:29.021+02:00The Buffalo Theory of Intelligence<span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);font-size:100%;" ><b><span style="font-family:Arial;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:Arial;" >In one episode of 'Cheers', Cliff is seated at the bar describing the <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Buffalo</st1:place></st1:city> Theory to his buddy, Norm. I don't think I've ever heard the concept explained any better than this</span></span></b><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4zd5Eo9C5Am_mNpgXCj_1ETfF-_IhVLB17_o3SM4EREB7A4TAbtrIJ9IBmRL2gGRvZ3Dtkw8U4Ta6DjERZc2uFilGhAtUpIp099OxU5p_Q1M2GKN8vsBBbi45rb7XqcHVqnoMIg/s1600-h/cheers.bmp"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4zd5Eo9C5Am_mNpgXCj_1ETfF-_IhVLB17_o3SM4EREB7A4TAbtrIJ9IBmRL2gGRvZ3Dtkw8U4Ta6DjERZc2uFilGhAtUpIp099OxU5p_Q1M2GKN8vsBBbi45rb7XqcHVqnoMIg/s400/cheers.bmp" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5210278653685124594" border="0" /></a><br /></span><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; color: rgb(204, 204, 204);"><span style="font-size:100%;"><b><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);font-size:100%;" ><b><span style="font-family:Arial;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:Arial;" >'Well you see, Norm, it's like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the heard is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first . This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'</span></span></b></span><br /></p>arshadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15779542664678954436noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31406248.post-31523633570644347332008-06-10T12:00:00.002+02:002008-06-10T12:07:08.690+02:00<p style="margin-bottom: 12pt;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Showcard Gothic;font-size:100%;" ><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:'Showcard Gothic';" lang="EN-GB">1. </span></span><span style=";font-family:Showcard Gothic;font-size:100%;color:red;" ><span style=";font-family:'Showcard Gothic';color:red;" lang="EN-GB"> The sex was so good, even the neighbors had a cigarette.</span></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Showcard Gothic;font-size:100%;" ><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:'Showcard Gothic';" lang="EN-GB"><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">2. I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. </span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 255); font-family: times new roman;font-size:180%;" >3. </span></span></span><span style="font-size:180%;"><b style="color: rgb(102, 51, 255); font-family: times new roman;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 204);"><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 153, 204);" lang="EN-GB">Good girls get fat, bad girls get eaten</span></span></b></span><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 255); font-family: times new roman;font-family:Showcard Gothic;font-size:180%;" ><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 204);" lang="EN-GB">.</span></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 204);font-family:Showcard Gothic;font-size:100%;" ><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 204);font-family:'Showcard Gothic';" lang="EN-GB"><br /></span></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Showcard Gothic;font-size:100%;" ><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:'Showcard Gothic';" lang="EN-GB"><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">4. The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.</span><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms; font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">5. </span></span></span><span style=";font-family:Showcard Gothic;font-size:100%;color:red;" ><span style=";font-family:'Showcard Gothic';color:red;" lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms; font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.</span><br /></span></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Showcard Gothic;font-size:100%;" ><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:'Showcard Gothic';" lang="EN-GB"><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">6. Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">7. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.</span><br />8. </span></span><span style=";font-family:Showcard Gothic;font-size:100%;color:red;" ><span style=";font-family:'Showcard Gothic';color:red;" lang="EN-GB">You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.</span></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Showcard Gothic;font-size:100%;" ><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:'Showcard Gothic';" lang="EN-GB"> </span></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Showcard Gothic;font-size:100%;" ><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:'Showcard Gothic';" lang="EN-GB"><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">9. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.</span><br /><span style="font-family: arial; font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;font-size:180%;" >10. </span></span></span><span style="font-family: arial; font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;font-size:180%;" ><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 204);"><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 204);" lang="EN-GB">To all you virgins - thanks for nothing</span></span></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Showcard Gothic;font-size:100%;" ><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:'Showcard Gothic';" lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: arial; font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;font-size:180%;" >.</span><br /></span></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Showcard Gothic;font-size:100%;" ><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:'Showcard Gothic';" lang="EN-GB"><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">11. I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">12. All men are idiots - I married their king.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">13. How can I be overdrawn - I still have cheques.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">14. </span></span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><b style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 204);font-family:Showcard Gothic;" ><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 153, 204);font-family:'Showcard Gothic';" lang="EN-GB">Life's a buffet - so eat me!</span></span></b></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Showcard Gothic;font-size:100%;" ><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:'Showcard Gothic';" lang="EN-GB"><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">15. Out of my mind - back in 5 minutes.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">16. Keep honking - I'm reloading.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">17. Snatch a kiss, or vice versa.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">18. I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">19. Sometimes I wake up grumpy- other times I let her sleep.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:180%;" >20. </span></span></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:Showcard Gothic;font-size:180%;color:red;" ><span style=";font-family:'Showcard Gothic';color:red;" lang="EN-GB"> A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.</span></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Showcard Gothic;font-size:100%;" ><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:'Showcard Gothic';" lang="EN-GB"><br />21. </span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><b><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 204);font-family:Showcard Gothic;" ><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 153, 204);font-family:'Showcard Gothic';" lang="EN-GB">Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.</span></span></b></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Showcard Gothic;font-size:100%;" ><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:'Showcard Gothic';" lang="EN-GB"><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">22. Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.</span><br />23. </span></span><span style=";font-family:Showcard Gothic;font-size:100%;color:red;" ><span style=";font-family:'Showcard Gothic';color:red;" lang="EN-GB">I'm not as think as you drunk I am. </span></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Showcard Gothic;font-size:100%;" ><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:'Showcard Gothic';" lang="EN-GB"><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">24. He who laughs last thinks slowest.</span><br /><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">25. </span></span></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;font-size:180%;" ><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 204);font-family:Showcard Gothic;" ><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 204);font-family:'Showcard Gothic';" lang="EN-GB">I get enough exercise just pushing my luck</span></span></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Showcard Gothic;font-size:100%;" ><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:'Showcard Gothic';" lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">.</span></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">26. Sorry, I don't date outside my species.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">27. OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">28. Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">29. Give me ambiguity or give me something else.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">30. Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot</span></span></span><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);font-size:100%;" lang="EN-GB" ><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 12pt; color: rgb(153, 153, 153);"><span style=";font-size:100%;" lang="EN-GB" > <o:p></o:p></span></p>arshadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15779542664678954436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31406248.post-87771383342511868842008-04-24T11:09:00.000+02:002008-12-09T04:01:29.188+02:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7QyyidUWTjpTopL8tcU3Pl31Ze0pQpoBCwVJELjnW72VZ2bHR97Gug6HwYJIBrtJNWsDJCL0gibmiqv1OpLnk8HJwq7z73F8RJFBiuVBG3_JPH_zutx7xOgsjkk4SyDaN9w4pQA/s1600-h/error2.bmp"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7QyyidUWTjpTopL8tcU3Pl31Ze0pQpoBCwVJELjnW72VZ2bHR97Gug6HwYJIBrtJNWsDJCL0gibmiqv1OpLnk8HJwq7z73F8RJFBiuVBG3_JPH_zutx7xOgsjkk4SyDaN9w4pQA/s400/error2.bmp" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5192736694713858738" border="0" /></a>arshadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15779542664678954436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31406248.post-87583410432421971522008-03-04T18:15:00.000+02:002008-03-04T18:16:31.238+02:00Being Twenty-something - they call it the "Quarter-life Crisis"<div style="font-family: arial;color:white;" bg link="blue" vlink="purple" lang="EN-US"><div><p><u><span style="font-size:100%;color:red;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; color: red;"></span></span></u><span style="font-size:100%;color:red;"><span style="color: red;">It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing<br />that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not<br />like.<br /><br />You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or<br />two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.<br /><br />You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those<br />friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the<br />greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch<br />with are some of the most important ones.<br /><br />What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and<br />aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as<br />confused as you.<br /><br />You look at your job ... and it is not even close to what you thought<br />you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing<br />that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.<br /><br />Your opinions have gotten stronger.<br /><br />You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than<br />usual suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your<br />life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is <br />acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next,<br />secure.<br /><br />You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone<br />and scared and confused.<br /><br />Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past<br />with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and<br />further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or<br />move forward.<br /><br />You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do<br />such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet<br />anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better.<br /><br />Or maybe you love someone but they love someone else too and cannot<br />figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a<br />bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. <br /><br />Getting wasted and acting like an idiot doesn't seem as fun.<br /><br />You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk<br />with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to<br />make a decision.<br /><br />You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for<br />yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd <br />just like to be a contender!<br /><br />What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it.<br /><br />We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as<br />we can to figure this whole thing out. <br /><br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-size:100%;color:purple;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt; color: purple;">"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the<br />moments that take our breath away."</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;color:red;"><span style="color: red;"><br /><br />It's really amazing when two strangers become the best of friends, but<br />it is really sad when the best of friends become two strangers. </span></span></p></div></div>arshadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15779542664678954436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31406248.post-29889081711665298702008-03-04T18:06:00.001+02:002008-03-04T18:11:42.452+02:00A far more accurate account of the events of that fateful morning<div style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> <div><span style="font-size:100%;">Baby bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table, and he looks into his small bowl. It is empty.<br />"Who's been eating my porridge?" he squeaks.</span></div> <div> </div> <div><span style="font-size:100%;">Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl and it is also empty.<br />"Who's been eating my porridge?!?" he roars.</span></div> <div> </div> <div><span style="font-size:100%;">Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells,"For God's sake, how many times do we have to go through this with you idiots? It was Mummy Bear who got up first. It was Mummy Bear who woke everyone in the house. It was Mummy Bear who made the coffee. It was Mummy Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away. It was Mummy Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper and croissants. It was Mummy Bear who set the damn table. It was Mummy Bear who put the bloody cats out, cleaned the litter boxes, gave the cats their food, and refilled their water. </span></div> <div> </div> <div><span style="font-size:100%;">And now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear- asses downstairs and grace Mummy Bear with your grumpy presence, listen carefully, because I'm going to say this once....I HAVEN'T MADE THE F***ING PORRIDGE YET !!!!"</span></div></div>arshadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15779542664678954436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31406248.post-55431290698598500612007-11-14T11:26:00.000+02:002007-11-14T11:37:41.343+02:00A LONG LONG TIME AGO<p style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);font-family:arial;" class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-size:85%;">One time, couple span jares ago, there was this one member rite. N e<o:p></o:p><br />way, this oke was like one top o xse ! This bra yer had one lukka vrou too<o:p></o:p><br />rite. Was his bullies favourite lity too. But his bullie was an operator also<o:p></o:p><br />rite, this bullie had 4 vrous xse ! He had one lity from each vrou too.<o:p></o:p><br />His one vrou chune the bullie he must send this bra away for 14 years<o:p></o:p><br />Other wise there will be speeches with him and her rite. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);font-family:arial;" class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-size:85%;">The bully chune orite sharp. He chune this bra he mus vy way from the <o:p></o:p><br />porsie. But his one lity bru chune, fock dat xse, he want to vy too.<o:p></o:p><br />So this bra, his vrou and his lity bru chune kick it. <o:p></o:p><br />Now they were blying in a different section and this one roti o<o:p></o:p><br />gangster check this bra vrou. He chune she is lukka and he wants her.<o:p></o:p><br />You knor how these roti o's get when they see porridge stekkies. <o:p></o:p><br /></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);font-family:arial;" class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-size:85%;">This ganster o too had nor style so he tried to hash this bras vrou man! <o:p></o:p><br />This bra and his bru chune fock nor xse ! you karn dalla a move like dat! <o:p></o:p><br />you knor who we are xse ? I chop you one time ! <o:p></o:p><br />They vied met up with one two other bras and vied to optel the Roti o's! <o:p></o:p><br />They vied xse, Focked the roti o's solid ! Those roti o's nevr knew what <o:p></o:p><br />hit them ! These brus and their other porridge bra's hit these okes once,<o:p></o:p><br />they fell twice xse ! <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);font-family:arial;" class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-size:85%;">N e way after the speeches this bra, his vrou and bru chune vy porsie !<o:p></o:p><br />All the other porridge o's were so happy that the roti okes gort focked up,<o:p></o:p><br />They chune they must have one jol ! <o:p></o:p></span></p><p style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);font-family:arial;" class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Big jol they had xse, fireworks burfee, chuna makaj the works xse !</span></span></p><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204); font-weight: bold;">After that every year the okes have the same JOL. </span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204); font-weight: bold;">They call it Diwali xse</span><br /></span><p class="MsoPlainText" style="font-family:arial;"><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:85%;" ><span style=";font-size:36;color:red;" ><br /></span></span></p><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18;" > </span>arshadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15779542664678954436noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31406248.post-65004522012082464612007-11-14T01:42:00.000+02:002007-11-14T13:44:04.195+02:00FAMILY PROBLEMS<div style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(204, 204, 204);"><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span></div> <div style="font-family: arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 10pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; color: rgb(204, 204, 204);"><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span></div> <div style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(204, 204, 204);"><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span></div> <div style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(204, 204, 204);"><span style="font-size:85%;">Hear dis out Two men met at a bus stop downtown Durban CBD and struck<br />up a rather interesting conversation. Now it appears dat one of them<br />kept complaining of family problems. Finally, the other man said:<br />"ekse larnie you chooning dis way dat way and thinking you have family<br />problems? Now take a good listen to my situation and all. A few years<br />ago, I met a young widow stekkie from chassies with a lukka grown-up <br />daughter and we got buckled.<br />Later on my ballie married my step daughter. Now u see dat made my<br />stepdaughter my step ma and my ballie became my stepson. Also, my vrou<br />became mother in-law of her father-in-law. "Then the daughter of my<br />vrou, my stepma, had a lighty. This boy was my half-bru because he was<br />my ballies lighty, but he was also the lighty of my vrou's daughter<br />which made him my vrou's grand-son. That made me the grandfather of my<br />half-bru. "This was nothing until my vrou and I had a lighty of our own <br />too. Now the half-sister of my lighty, my stepma, is also the <br />grandmother. This makes my ballie the brother-in-law of my child, whose <br />stepsister is my ballie's vrou, I'm my stepma's brother-in-law, my vrou <br />is her own child's aunt, my lighty is my ballies's nephew and I'm my own <br />grandfather!<br /><br />Hella man what a thing and what you were chooning again about u having<br />family problems and all!" </span></div>arshadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15779542664678954436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31406248.post-16412135205451867502007-11-01T01:28:00.000+02:002008-12-09T04:01:29.391+02:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO47G7u12E7KpDquhU8I35E0QCTaCc1coeMtXVxDszKlG5jPcOELjEBEfk_aeTstXKA30-1AhveyNYxnH_q8khPXcPAzfBv4058Il1U3w2LBmWbtzQnLNY2DdDLN2moXMXCsiQqA/s1600-h/arsenal1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO47G7u12E7KpDquhU8I35E0QCTaCc1coeMtXVxDszKlG5jPcOELjEBEfk_aeTstXKA30-1AhveyNYxnH_q8khPXcPAzfBv4058Il1U3w2LBmWbtzQnLNY2DdDLN2moXMXCsiQqA/s400/arsenal1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5127837428282741698" border="0" /></a>arshadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15779542664678954436noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31406248.post-33632823621921543512007-11-01T00:20:00.000+02:002007-11-01T13:27:44.715+02:00Steven Wright<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="width: 100%; color: rgb(204, 204, 204);font-family:arial;" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"> <tbody> <tr> <td style="padding: 1.5pt; width: 100%;" width="100%"> <div> <div> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size:12;"> </span></span><span style="font-size:85%;">If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famous guy who once said, "I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates!"<br /><br />His mind tends to see things a bit differently than the rest of us mortals. Here are some of his Deep Thoughts:<br /><br /><u>01</u> - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.<br /><u>02</u> - Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.<br /><u>03</u> - Half the people you know are below average. <br /><u>04</u> - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.<br /><u>05</u> - 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.<br /><u>06</u> - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.<br /><u>07</u> - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.<br /><u>08</u> - If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.<br /><u>09</u> - All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.<br /><u>10</u>- The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.<br /><u>11</u>- I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.<br /><u>12</u>- OK, so what's the speed of dark?<br /><u>13</u>- How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?<br /><u>14</u>- If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.<br /><u>15</u>- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.<br /><u>16</u>- When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.<br /><u>17</u>- Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.<br /><u>18</u>- Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.<br /><u>19</u>- I intend to live forever; so far, so good.<br /><u>20</u>- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her some friends?<br /><u>21</u>- Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.<br /><u>22</u>- What happens if you get scared half to death twice?<br /><u>23</u>- My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."<br /><u>24</u>- Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?<br /><u>25</u>- If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.<br /><u>26</u>- A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.<br /><u>27</u>- Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.<br /><u>28</u>- The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.<br /><u>29</u>- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.<br /><u>30</u>- The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.<br /><u>31</u>- The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.<br /><u>32</u>- The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.<br /><u>33</u>- Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film. </span></p></div></div></td></tr></tbody></table>arshadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15779542664678954436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31406248.post-15463173119447921022007-09-04T01:51:00.000+02:002007-09-04T13:56:07.459+02:00legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal<div style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);"> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;" lang="EN-US">After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization", a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.<br /><br />Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"<br /><br />Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"<br /><br />Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the exam. "<br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><span style=";font-family:Arial;" lang="EN-US">Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"<br /><br />Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?"<br /><br />Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed.<br /><br />Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.<br /></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><span style=";font-family:Arial;" lang="EN-US">He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an "A", although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical."</span></span><span style="font-family:Arial;"><span style=";font-family:Arial;" lang="EN-US"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p></div> <div> <div> <p><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;color:blue;" lang="EN-US"><span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);">. </span> </span></span></p></div></div>arshadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15779542664678954436noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31406248.post-11077827328663473952007-08-03T11:18:00.000+02:002007-08-03T11:21:43.656+02:00Mafia, DonMafia, Don (the dawg) Naidoo (Real name Dhanarajen) is<br />dying and he called his grandson to his bed.<br />"9 boy, now I want u to listen to me nicely, ok. I want you to take<br />my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me."<br />"But grandpa I really don't like guns and all; what about you leaving<br />me your Rolex watch instead."<br /><br />"You listen to me nicely 9, some day you gonna be running da<br />business, you gonna have a beautiful stekkie for a wife, lotsa money,<br />a big posie and maybe a couple of nine boys too and some day you <br />gonna come to ur posie and maybe find your stekkie in bed with<br />another man.<br /><br />What'chaa gonna do eh, eh? Point to your watch and choon da maamoo <br />"HEY Maadhir - TIME'S UP?"arshadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15779542664678954436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31406248.post-40811001618509660882007-07-11T10:24:00.000+02:002007-07-11T10:30:31.085+02:00Two Hour Delay<div class="Section1" style="font-family:arial;"> <div> <div> <div> <p><span style="font-size:100%;">A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year old son playing with his new electric train in the living room.<br />She heard the train stop and her son saying, "All of you bastards who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the<span style="color:navy;"><span style="color:navy;"> </span></span>last stop!<o:p><br /></o:p></span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 12pt;"><span style="font-size:100%;">And all of you bastards who are getting on, get your low-income asses in the train, cause we are going down the tracks."<br />The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use<span style="color:navy;"><span style="color:navy;"> </span></span>that kind of<span style="color:navy;"><span style="color:navy;"> </span></span>language in this house.<br />Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS.<span style="color:navy;"><span style="color:navy;"> </span></span>When you come out, you may play with your train,<o:p><br /></o:p> but I want you to use nice language."<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p>Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say,<br />"All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you<span style="color:navy;"><span style="color:navy;"> </span></span>.We thank you for travelling with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant<span style="color:navy;"><span style="color:navy;"> </span></span>one."<br /><br />She then hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your<span style="color:navy;"><span style="color:navy;"> </span></span>hand luggage under your seat.<br />Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."<br /><br />As the mother began to smile, the child added, "<span style="font-style: italic;">For those of you who are piss***ed off about the TWO HOUR delay,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">please see</span><span style="font-style: italic;color:navy;" ><span style="color:navy;"> </span></span><span style="font-style: italic;">the bi****tc in the kitchen."</span> <u3:p></u3:p><o:p></o:p></span></p></div></div></div> <div> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-size:100%;color:blue;" ><span style="color:blue;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></p></div></div>arshadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15779542664678954436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31406248.post-79792261076283737522007-07-11T10:16:00.000+02:002008-12-09T04:01:29.511+02:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiq4eXBZysCV02ZJB-XuDhokSJj60e9Kaexea6wecxp2KMiYnDYbtdoxUyW5hwWrPi-2ZwjrFBUuFRAasZNTuYEQrptYJw01gTYHxYRtZYT8lx-0Era3FdEJ4HI6Wwjm-NcI3ftAA/s1600-h/fu2.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiq4eXBZysCV02ZJB-XuDhokSJj60e9Kaexea6wecxp2KMiYnDYbtdoxUyW5hwWrPi-2ZwjrFBUuFRAasZNTuYEQrptYJw01gTYHxYRtZYT8lx-0Era3FdEJ4HI6Wwjm-NcI3ftAA/s400/fu2.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5085850781324063266" border="0" /></a>arshadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15779542664678954436noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31406248.post-89914069785227517962007-07-06T10:44:00.000+02:002007-07-06T10:49:56.408+02:00Five Don'ts when sleeping<div style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:85%;">1 DON'T SLEEP WITH WATCH<br /><span class="573035007-06072007"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);"> </span></span>Watches can emit a certain level of radioactivity. Though small, but if you wear your watch to bed<br /><span class="573035007-06072007"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);"> </span></span>for a long time, it might have adverse effects on your health.<br /><span class="573035007-06072007"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);"> </span></span></span></div> <div style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><br />2 DON'T SLEEP WITH BRA<br /><span class="573035007-06072007"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);"> <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </span> </span></span>Scientists in America have discovered those that wear bras for more than 12 hours have<br /><span class="573035007-06072007"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);"> <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </span> </span></span>a higher risk of getting breast cancer. So go to bed without it.<br /><span class="573035007-06072007"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);"> </span></span></span></div> <div style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><br />3 DON'T SLEEP WITH PHONE<br /><span class="573035007-06072007"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);"> <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </span> </span></span> Putting the phone beside your bed or anywhere near you is not encouraged. Though some of us will use phones as alarm clocks, but please put the phone as far as possible. Scientists have proved that electrical items including mobile phone and television sets emit magnetic waves when used. These waves can cause disruptions to our nervous system. Therefore if you need to put your mobile phone near you, switch it off first.<br /><span class="573035007-06072007"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);"> </span></span></span></div> <div style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><br />4 DON'T SLEEP WITH MAKE UP<br /><span class="573035007-06072007"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </span> </span></span> People who sleep with make up might have skin problems in the long run. Sleeping with make up will cause the skin to have difficulty in breathing and problem in perspiring. You will also need a much longer time to go into deep sleep.<br /><span class="573035007-06072007"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);"> </span></span></span></div> <div><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:85%;" ><br />5 DON'T SLEEP WITH SOMEONES' WIFE / HUSBAND<br /><span class="573035007-06072007"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);"> <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </span> </span></span> You may never wake up again. </span><tt><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span></tt></div>arshadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15779542664678954436noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31406248.post-56898826469071841732007-06-05T00:13:00.000+02:002007-06-05T12:14:50.263+02:00Interview on the RadioMarine Corps General Reinwald was interviewed on the radio the other day<br />and you'll love his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning<br />guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta<br />love this!!!! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is<br />a portion of National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female<br />broadcaster and US Marine Corps General Reinwald who was about to<br />sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.<br /><br />FEMALE INTER<st1:personname style="background-position: left bottom; background-image: url(res://ietag.dll/#34/#1001); background-repeat: repeat-x;" tabindex="0" st="on">V</st1:PersonName>IEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to<br />teach these young boys when they visit your base?<br /><br />GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery,<br />and shooting.<br /><br />FEMALE INTER<st1:personname style="background-position: left bottom; background-image: url(res://ietag.dll/#34/#1001); background-repeat: repeat-x;" tabindex="0" st="on">V</st1:PersonName>IEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?<br /><br />GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the<br />rifle range.<br /><br />FEMALE INTER<st1:personname style="background-position: left bottom; background-image: url(res://ietag.dll/#34/#1001); background-repeat: repeat-x;" tabindex="0" st="on">V</st1:PersonName>IEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous<br />activity to be teaching children?<br /><br />GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle<br />discipline before they even touch a firearm.<br /><br />FEMALE INTER<st1:personname style="background-position: left bottom; background-image: url(res://ietag.dll/#34/#1001); background-repeat: repeat-x;" tabindex="0" st="on">V</st1:PersonName>IEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.<br /><br />GENERAL REINWALD: Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but<br />you're not one, are you?<br /><br />The radio went silent and the interview ended.arshadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15779542664678954436noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31406248.post-44606066299368835072007-05-29T02:37:00.000+02:002007-05-29T14:39:14.793+02:00Rabbit and the LionA rabbit was hopping through the forest when he came upon a giraffe rolling a joint The rabbit said, "giraffe, don't do drugs. Come run with me through the forest." the giraffe looked at the rabbit, then at the joint.<br />He dropped the joint and ran off with the rabbit.<br />They came upon an elephant snorting cocaine. The rabbit said, "elephant, don't do drugs. Come, run with us through the forest." the elephant looked at his razor blade and mirror,t ossed them away and began running with the rabbit and giraffe.<br />The three animals then came across a lion about to shoot up.<br />The rabbit said, "lion, don't do drugs. Come, run with us through the forest."<br />The lion looked at the rabbit and then at the needle. He put down the needle and started to beat up the rabbit.<br />Horrified, the giraffe and elephant asked, "lion, why are you doing this? He was trying to help you."<br />The lion answered, "this little f***er? He makes me run around the forest like a f***ing idiot every time he's on ecstasy."arshadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15779542664678954436noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31406248.post-78991586909505674702007-05-15T04:44:00.000+02:002007-05-15T17:13:56.960+02:00Bowling bowling Bowling...Hey Guys... Thanks For The Great Nite Out Bowling ,, Was Really Fun Meeting everyone.<br />ZoeY And Saf, Hats Of To u Guys For Organizing It.<br />Asad and Zoe, Shot for The Massages. Its Wat Kept Me Going..<br />R, Saf, Zoe, Asad Thanks For The Bowling Tips...C It Paid Off..<br />Waseem, Joe, Shiraz.. Was Nice Meeting U Guys for The 1st Time.<br />Dew.. Its been a Lng Time, but U Havnt Changd a Bit... :)<br />Laila, Next Tym Im Going To Throw The Water On u.<br />Mj, MaHoezo, Phantom, Hmm... No Comment...lol.. Tops Boys..<br />Mohsina.... U still fyting Wid Me??<br />MaHoezo... Ur a dead Man For starting That neo Crap Again..<br />Wonder If Every1 Knows Wat Mazozo Meanz...<br />Shahista.. Hope u Enjoyed Ur birthday..<br /><br />We Gota do This Agian.. hint Saf/Zoe<br /> & Mohsina is also a gud Organizer.. My suggestion... Horse Ridding/Cnt Skate To Save My Life..<br />Thankz Guys .arshadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15779542664678954436noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31406248.post-1153994079446828352007-05-14T03:03:00.000+02:002007-05-15T16:37:13.638+02:00A HELL OF AN ANSWERThe following is an actual question given on a University of Liverpool chemistry final exam.<br /><br />The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.<br /><br />Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?<br /><br />Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's law that gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or some variant.<br /><br />One student, however, wrote the following:<br /><br />First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate<br /><br />at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.<br /><br />As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that, if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell. Because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay constant, the volume of Hell must expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:<br /><br />1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.<br /><br />2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.<br /><br />So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Sandra during my freshman year, that "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is endothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is extinct ... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being - which explains why, last night, Sandra kept shouting "Oh my God."<br />THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".arshadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15779542664678954436noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31406248.post-46316810507272836192007-05-08T08:38:00.000+02:002008-12-09T04:01:29.636+02:00AIG<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7ZJY-gNZiE0QFz5SzIs3FkTG1aS7IP0e-FeD3C4pHQRT0-NtibuEU-J62sUGubQmm3JIunMeJDYDv7u6o6gM6jB8DWA0tLYTmAaJuIDlM1-2zmTlSJ5dSB4Z_Q4fejRpD2kp1Iw/s1600-h/AlmostInGreece1.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7ZJY-gNZiE0QFz5SzIs3FkTG1aS7IP0e-FeD3C4pHQRT0-NtibuEU-J62sUGubQmm3JIunMeJDYDv7u6o6gM6jB8DWA0tLYTmAaJuIDlM1-2zmTlSJ5dSB4Z_Q4fejRpD2kp1Iw/s400/AlmostInGreece1.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5062077944762812962" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtHEl4aMAfq7juq6K_M_xUWPRI1aX78pdBHh1Yaql474whNu-EMV5BM5syNS7-p6Cc65Tzk163aFELl4YYfWwa0Bk49yM3lZUQWMZ5AlhD6ntXckvdh45seEekOL48SNyPrrQNFA/s1600-h/AlmostInGreece.jpg"><br /></a>arshadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15779542664678954436noreply@blogger.com7