Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Rabbit and the Lion

A rabbit was hopping through the forest when he came upon a giraffe rolling a joint The rabbit said, "giraffe, don't do drugs. Come run with me through the forest." the giraffe looked at the rabbit, then at the joint.
He dropped the joint and ran off with the rabbit.
They came upon an elephant snorting cocaine. The rabbit said, "elephant, don't do drugs. Come, run with us through the forest." the elephant looked at his razor blade and mirror,t ossed them away and began running with the rabbit and giraffe.
The three animals then came across a lion about to shoot up.
The rabbit said, "lion, don't do drugs. Come, run with us through the forest."
The lion looked at the rabbit and then at the needle. He put down the needle and started to beat up the rabbit.
Horrified, the giraffe and elephant asked, "lion, why are you doing this? He was trying to help you."
The lion answered, "this little f***er? He makes me run around the forest like a f***ing idiot every time he's on ecstasy."

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Bowling bowling Bowling...

Hey Guys... Thanks For The Great Nite Out Bowling ,, Was Really Fun Meeting everyone.
ZoeY And Saf, Hats Of To u Guys For Organizing It.
Asad and Zoe, Shot for The Massages. Its Wat Kept Me Going..
R, Saf, Zoe, Asad Thanks For The Bowling Tips...C It Paid Off..
Waseem, Joe, Shiraz.. Was Nice Meeting U Guys for The 1st Time.
Dew.. Its been a Lng Time, but U Havnt Changd a Bit... :)
Laila, Next Tym Im Going To Throw The Water On u.
Mj, MaHoezo, Phantom, Hmm... No Comment...lol.. Tops Boys..
Mohsina.... U still fyting Wid Me??
MaHoezo... Ur a dead Man For starting That neo Crap Again..
Wonder If Every1 Knows Wat Mazozo Meanz...
Shahista.. Hope u Enjoyed Ur birthday..

We Gota do This Agian.. hint Saf/Zoe
& Mohsina is also a gud Organizer.. My suggestion... Horse Ridding/Cnt Skate To Save My Life..
Thankz Guys .

Monday, May 14, 2007

A HELL OF AN ANSWER

The following is an actual question given on a University of Liverpool chemistry final exam.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's law that gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate

at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that, if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell. Because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay constant, the volume of Hell must expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Sandra during my freshman year, that "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is endothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is extinct ... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being - which explains why, last night, Sandra kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Friday, May 04, 2007

Beauty On Mothers Day

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