Wednesday, November 14, 2007


One time, couple span jares ago, there was this one member rite. N e
way, this oke was like one top o xse ! This bra yer had one lukka vrou too
rite. Was his bullies favourite lity too. But his bullie was an operator also
rite, this bullie had 4 vrous xse ! He had one lity from each vrou too.
His one vrou chune the bullie he must send this bra away for 14 years
Other wise there will be speeches with him and her rite.

The bully chune orite sharp. He chune this bra he mus vy way from the
porsie. But his one lity bru chune, fock dat xse, he want to vy too.
So this bra, his vrou and his lity bru chune kick it.
Now they were blying in a different section and this one roti o
gangster check this bra vrou. He chune she is lukka and he wants her.
You knor how these roti o's get when they see porridge stekkies.

This ganster o too had nor style so he tried to hash this bras vrou man!
This bra and his bru chune fock nor xse ! you karn dalla a move like dat!
you knor who we are xse ? I chop you one time !
They vied met up with one two other bras and vied to optel the Roti o's!
They vied xse, Focked the roti o's solid ! Those roti o's nevr knew what
hit them ! These brus and their other porridge bra's hit these okes once,
they fell twice xse !

N e way after the speeches this bra, his vrou and bru chune vy porsie !
All the other porridge o's were so happy that the roti okes gort focked up,
They chune they must have one jol !

Big jol they had xse, fireworks burfee, chuna makaj the works xse !

After that every year the okes have the same JOL.
They call it Diwali xse


Hear dis out Two men met at a bus stop downtown Durban CBD and struck
up a rather interesting conversation. Now it appears dat one of them
kept complaining of family problems. Finally, the other man said:
"ekse larnie you chooning dis way dat way and thinking you have family
problems? Now take a good listen to my situation and all. A few years
ago, I met a young widow stekkie from chassies with a lukka grown-up
daughter and we got buckled.
Later on my ballie married my step daughter. Now u see dat made my
stepdaughter my step ma and my ballie became my stepson. Also, my vrou
became mother in-law of her father-in-law. "Then the daughter of my
vrou, my stepma, had a lighty. This boy was my half-bru because he was
my ballies lighty, but he was also the lighty of my vrou's daughter
which made him my vrou's grand-son. That made me the grandfather of my
half-bru. "This was nothing until my vrou and I had a lighty of our own
too. Now the half-sister of my lighty, my stepma, is also the
grandmother. This makes my ballie the brother-in-law of my child, whose
stepsister is my ballie's vrou, I'm my stepma's brother-in-law, my vrou
is her own child's aunt, my lighty is my ballies's nephew and I'm my own

Hella man what a thing and what you were chooning again about u having
family problems and all!"

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Steven Wright

If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famous guy who once said, "I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates!"

His mind tends to see things a bit differently than the rest of us mortals. Here are some of his Deep Thoughts:

01 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
02 - Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.
03 - Half the people you know are below average.
04 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
05 - 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
06 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
07 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
08 - If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.
09 - All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.
10- The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11- I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.
12- OK, so what's the speed of dark?
13- How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14- If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16- When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17- Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18- Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
19- I intend to live forever; so far, so good.
20- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her some friends?
21- Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22- What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23- My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
24- Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
25- If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26- A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
27- Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28- The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
29- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30- The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31- The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
32- The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
33- Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.