my girlfriend

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?" I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

Does EVIL exist ?

A University professor at a well-known institution of higher
learning challenged his students with this question.
"Did God create everything that exists?"

A student bravely replied,"Yes he did!"
"God created everything?" The professor asked.
"Yes sir, he certainly did," the student replied.
The professor answered, "If God created everything;
then God created evil.And, since evil exists, and according
to the principle that our works define who we are, then we
can assume God is evil."

The student became quiet and did not answer the professor's
hypothetical definition.The professor, quite pleased with
himself, boasted to the students that he had proven once
more that the Christian faith was a myth.

Another student raised his hand and said,
"May I ask you a question,professor?"
"Of course", replied the professor.
The student stood up and asked, "Professor, does cold exist?"
"What kind of question is this?
Of course it exists.Have you never been cold?"
The other students snickered at the young man's question.

The young man replied, "In fact, sir, cold does not exist.
According to the laws of physics, what we consider cold is in
reality the absence of heat.Every body or object is
susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and
heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy.
Absolute zero (-460 F)is the total absence of heat.
And all matter becomes inert and incapable of reaction at that
temperature. Cold does not exist. We have created this word to
describe how we feel if we have no heat."

The student continued, "Professor, does darkness exist?"
The professor responded, "Of course it does."
The student replied, "Once again you are wrong, sir,
darkness does not exist either.Darkness is in reality the
absence of light.Light we can study, but not darkness.In fact,
we can use Newton's prism to break white light into many colors
and study the various wavelengths of each color.You cannot
measure darkness.A simple ray of light can break into a world
of darkness and illuminate it.How can you know how dark a
certain space is? You measure the amount of light present.
Isn't this correct? Darkness is a term used by man to describe
what happens when there is no light present."

Finally the young man asked the professor,
"Sir, does evil exist?"
Now uncertain, the professor responded,
"Of course, as I have already said.We see it everyday.It is in
the daily examples of man's inhumanity to man.It is in the
multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world.
These manifestations are nothing else but evil."

To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist, sir, or at
least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence
of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has
created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil.
Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's
love present in his heart.It's like the coldthat comes when
there is no heat, or the darkness that comes when there is
no light." The professor sat down.


The young man's name -- Albert Einstein