Idiots of 2006

Number One Idiot of 2006


I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this
woman called in very upset because she caught her little
daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the
ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring
her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at
the end of the conversation happened to mention that she
gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill
the ants.I told her that she better bring her daughter
into the emergency room right away.

Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.



Number Two Idiot of 2006

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked
into the branch and wrote, "this iz a stikkup. Put all your
muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give
his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had
seen him write the note and might call the police before
he reached the teller's window. So he left the
Bank of America and crossed the street to the
Wells Fa rgo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line,
he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller.
She read it and,surmising from his spelling errors that he
wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she
could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a
Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have
to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to
Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said,
"OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was
waiting in line back at Bank of America.

Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read
it anyway.


Number Three Idiot of 2006

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed
trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed
his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40
and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the
police department a photograph of $40. Several days later,
he received a letter from the police that contained another
picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in
his $40.

Smart, but you still get a sign



Number Four Idiot of 2006

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun
and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer.
After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber
saw a bottle of Scotch that hewanted behind the counter
on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag
as well, but the cashier refused and said,"Because I don't
believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but
the clerk still refused to give it to him because she
didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his
driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the
clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man
was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag.
The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the
name and address of the robber that he got off the
license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

This guy definitely needs a sign.



Idiot Number Five of 2006

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop
nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted,
"Nobody move!" When his partner moved,
the startled first bandit shot him.

This guy doesn't even deserve a sign.