Julius Caesar

Life Is 10% What You Make It And 90% How You Take It.- Julius Caesar

Discover the 90/10 Principle.

It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations).
What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react.
What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us.
We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic.
We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%.
How? ……….By your reaction.
You cannot control a red light. but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.
Let's use an example.
You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened.
What happens next will be determined by how you react.
You curse.
You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus.
Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit.
After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home.
When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.
Why? …. Because of how you reacted in the morning.
Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
The answer is “D".
You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened.
Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "Its ok honey, you just need to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.
Notice the difference?
Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.
Why?
Because of how you REACTED.
You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.
Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle. If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you!
React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.
How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off) Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them?
WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive?
Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.
You are told you lost your job.
Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.
The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take outpour frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on.
Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.
Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle.
The result?
Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle.
It CAN change your life!!!

NEW JOB TITLES IN THE NEW SOUTH AFRICA in preparation for 2010!!!

Murderer : Population Stabilizer
Orphan : Independent Youngster
Beggar : Financial Gatherer
Cleaner : Hygiene Specialist
Rapist : Senior Practitioner in Sexual Practices
Gardener : Landscape Executive and Animal Nutritionist
House Maid : Family Environs Upkeep Manager
Receptionist :Front Office Manager/Office Access Control Specialist
Messenger : Business Communications Conveyer
Window Cleaner : Transparent Wall Technician
Temporary Teacher :Associate Tutor
Tealady : Refreshment Overseer
Garbage Collector : Public Sanitation Technician
Watchman/security : Theft Prevention and Surveillance Officer or
Wealth Distribution Prevention Officer
Prostitute : Practical Sexual Relations Officer
Thief : Wealth Distribution Officer
Driver : Automobile Propulsion Specialist
Maid : Domestic Operations Specialist
Employee without Portfolio : Administration Manager
Cook : Food Preparation Officer

Do Not Forget:
Unemployed :Township Management
Gossiping :Research Management

The Buffalo Theory of Intelligence

In one episode of 'Cheers', Cliff is seated at the bar describing the Buffalo Theory to his buddy, Norm. I don't think I've ever heard the concept explained any better than this

'Well you see, Norm, it's like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the heard is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first . This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'

1. The sex was so good, even the neighbors had a cigarette.
2. I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
3. Good girls get fat, bad girls get eaten.
4. The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
5. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
6. Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
7. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
8. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
9. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
10. To all you virgins - thanks for nothing.
11. I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
12. All men are idiots - I married their king.
13. How can I be overdrawn - I still have cheques.
14. Life's a buffet - so eat me!
15. Out of my mind - back in 5 minutes.
16. Keep honking - I'm reloading.
17. Snatch a kiss, or vice versa.
18. I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.
19. Sometimes I wake up grumpy- other times I let her sleep.
20. A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.
21. Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
22. Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.
23. I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
24. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
25. I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
26. Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
27. OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
28. Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.
29. Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
30. Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot

Being Twenty-something - they call it the "Quarter-life Crisis"

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing
that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not
like.

You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or
two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those
friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the
greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch
with are some of the most important ones.

What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and
aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as
confused as you.

You look at your job ... and it is not even close to what you thought
you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing
that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger.

You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than
usual suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your
life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is
acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next,
secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone
and scared and confused.

Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past
with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and
further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or
move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do
such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet
anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better.

Or maybe you love someone but they love someone else too and cannot
figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a
bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap.

Getting wasted and acting like an idiot doesn't seem as fun.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk
with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to
make a decision.

You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for
yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd
just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it.

We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as
we can to figure this whole thing out.


"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the
moments that take our breath away."

It's really amazing when two strangers become the best of friends, but
it is really sad when the best of friends become two strangers.

A far more accurate account of the events of that fateful morning

Baby bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table, and he looks into his small bowl. It is empty.
"Who's been eating my porridge?" he squeaks.

Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl and it is also empty.
"Who's been eating my porridge?!?" he roars.

Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells,"For God's sake, how many times do we have to go through this with you idiots? It was Mummy Bear who got up first. It was Mummy Bear who woke everyone in the house. It was Mummy Bear who made the coffee. It was Mummy Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away. It was Mummy Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper and croissants. It was Mummy Bear who set the damn table. It was Mummy Bear who put the bloody cats out, cleaned the litter boxes, gave the cats their food, and refilled their water.

And now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear- asses downstairs and grace Mummy Bear with your grumpy presence, listen carefully, because I'm going to say this once....I HAVEN'T MADE THE F***ING PORRIDGE YET !!!!"