WAP

1. The sex was so good, even the neighbors had a cigarette.
2. I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
3. Good girls get fat, bad girls get eaten.
4. The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
5. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
6. Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
7. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
8. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
9. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
10. To all you virgins - thanks for nothing.
11. I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
12. All men are idiots - I married their king.
13. How can I be overdrawn - I still have cheques.
14. Life's a buffet - so eat me!
15. Out of my mind - back in 5 minutes.
16. Keep honking - I'm reloading.
17. Snatch a kiss, or vice versa.
18. I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.
19. Sometimes I wake up grumpy- other times I let her sleep.
20. A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.
21. Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
22. Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.
23. I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
24. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
25. I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
26. Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
27. OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
28. Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.
29. Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
30. Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot