Thursday, December 07, 2006

LETTER TO TRUWORTHS

The ffg is an actual letter writen to TRUWORTHS by a customer

Dear Sir/Madam

I hereby wish to acknowledge receipt of your letter dated 1 May in which for the third time, you request that I pay the monies owed to you. I first want you to know that by no means do I dispute my debt to your company and reconfirm my intend to make good on the debt as soon as possible. It is not as if I have been unwilling – in fact I have just been unable to pay you at the rate I would have liked to, due to the personal circumstances elaborated upon herein-under.

Firstly, on a point of correction, allow me to bring to your attention the fact that my details are recorded incorrectly on your database. You have incorrectly addressed me as Ms, whereas I am Mr. I cannot recall having had a sex-change operation, neither do I plan to. Although I can understand why you would make a mistake of that nature, simply because the perfume I bought was a ladies’ Issey Miyake, does not justify you referring to me as a woman. If you can make a mistake of that nature, Lord knows whether the amount alleged to be owed is not inflated. To that effect, please send me a detailed statement indicated all the cost included and the justification for the so-called interest and administration fees. To my knowledge, I have not borrowed money from you to be charged interest, neither do I expect you to administer my account as I know that I owe you R670.00 for the perfume I bought for my girlfriend. In any case, our relationship is not as great as it used to be and should it completely break down, I will forward you her details as she is the one enjoying the product derived from your store. Furthermore, it was not my intention to spend such a lot of money for a 50ml bottle of perfume.

Nonetheless, the reason for my correspondence is this - I wish to bring to your attention that you are not the only one I owe money to. I have many more creditors, quite as honourable as you and to whom I even owe many more thousands of rand than the lousy R670.00 owed to you, and whom I wish to reimburse too. That is why, each month, I throw all the names of my creditors into a hat and randomly draw the names of two creditors, whom I hasten to pay immediately. I hope that your name will come out in the next draw at the end of June.

Sincerely Yours,


PS: I regret to inform you that given the cheeky and impolite tone of your last letter, you will not be taking part in the next three draws

2 comments:

Mohamed Karolia said...

Cool Blog. Love the colour scheme.

K

Anonymous said...

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